how to improve emotional intelligence

how to improve emotional intelligence

Are you an emotionally intelligent person? Do you know how to control your thoughts and emotions?

Understand your feelings and desires

Most people who are honest with themselves and who know what they want, and know how to express their feelings properly are usually the happiest people and the least vulnerable to become depressed. These are the people who usually succeed in making productive relationships with others because they depend heavily on expressing their feelings in every social relationship they have, hence they are usually the most emotionally intelligent people.

Understand and know yourself more

Now, you know what you want and what your desires are, but let me ask you something. Do you know exactly why you want the goals you have chosen? Do you realize how these emotions will impact your behavior and actions?

 Learn to control your emotions

Learning to control your emotions is an important skill that you have to acquire to help you avoid difficult situations that you might experience in life. It will also protect you from listening to destructive emotions that may destroy your life. How to control your emotions?

To be able to control your emotions, you have to learn to control your thoughts first as emotions are the results of your thoughts. No one can have an emotion without having a thought first. Therefore, it is crucial that you learn to control your thoughts, so you can control your emotions.

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For every thought that you experience, there is always at least two interpretations, one positive and one negative. If a thought pops up into your mind, it is up to you to decide on which interpretation you choose, why not choose the positive one?

Always remember what Dave Lennick said, “Emotional competence is the single most important personal quality that each of us must develop and access to experience a breakthrough. Only through managing our emotions can we access our intellect and our technical competence. An emotionally competent person performs better under pressure.”

how to Develop Emotional Intelligence

We probably all know people, either at work or in our personal lives, who are really good listeners. No matter what kind of situation we're in, they always seem to know just what to say – and how to say it – so that we're not offended or upset. They're caring and considerate, and even if we don't find a solution to our problem, we usually leave feeling more hopeful and optimistic.

We probably also know people who are masters at managing their emotions. They don't get angry in stressful situations. Instead, they have the ability to look at a problem and calmly find a solution. They're excellent decision makers, and they know when to trust their intuition. Regardless of their strengths, however, they're usually willing to look at themselves honestly. They take criticism well, and they know when to use it to improve their performance.
 

People like this have a high degree of emotional intelligence. They know themselves very well, and they're also able to sense the emotional needs of others.

Would you like to be more like this?

As more and more people accept that emotional intelligence is just as important to professional success as technical ability, organizations are increasingly using it when they hire and promote.

For example, one large cosmetics company recently revised their hiring process for salespeople to choose candidates based on their emotional intelligence. The result? People hired with the new system have sold, on average, $91,000 more than salespeople selected under the old system. There has also been significantly lower staff turnover among the group chosen for their emotional intelligence.
 

So, what Ways to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

Habits of Highly Emotionally Intelligent People

1. Utilize an assertive style of communicating.

Assertive communication goes a long way toward earning respect without coming across as too aggressive or too passive. Emotionally intelligent people know how to communicate their opinions and needs in a direct way while still respecting others.

2. They’re relentlessly positive. 

Keep your eyes on the news for any length of time, and you’ll see that it’s just one endless cycle of war, violent attacks, fragile economies, failing companies, and environmental disasters. It’s easy to think the world is headed downhill fast. And who knows? Maybe it is. But emotionally intelligent people don’t worry about that because they don’t get caught up in things they can’t control. They focus their energy on directing the two things that are completely within their power—their attention and their effort. Numerous studies have shown that optimists are physically and psychologically healthier than pessimists. They also perform better at work. Remind yourself of this the next time a negative train of thought takes hold of you.

• Knowing What You’re Doing.
• Knowing What You’re Feeling.
• Knowing Your Own Emotional Bullshit.

3. They embrace change 

People with emotional intelligence don’t fear change because they have a fixed sense of self that stays constant in all circumstances. Instead, they actively pursue new opportunities to grow.  

Change is an inevitable part of life. It’s normal for humans to instinctively resist change because our brains are hardwired to preserve routine, but we have to overcome these instincts if we want to evolve and experience as much as possible.

4. Self-Awareness

Psychologist and author Daniel Goleman identifies self-awareness as one of the key components of emotional intelligence.2 Self-awareness involves the ability to recognize moods, emotions, and feelings.

(Happiness is the KEY to success and unlimited achievement in all aspects of your life)

Part of self-awareness also involves being aware of how your emotions and moods influence other people. This ability to monitor your own emotional states is a basic requirement for emotional intelligence.

5. Respond instead of reacting to conflict.

During instances of conflict, emotional outbursts and feelings of anger are common. The emotionally intelligent person knows how to stay calm during stressful situations. They don't make impulsive decisions that can lead to even bigger problems. They understand that in times of conflict the goal is a resolution, and they make a conscious choice to focus on ensuring that their actions and words are in alignment with that.

6. They have a robust emotional vocabulary. 

All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36% of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions. People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.
 

7. Channel Your Emotions Well

People who believe that emotions are the be-all-end-all of life often seek ways to “control” their emotions. You can’t. You can only react to them.

Emotions are merely the signals that tell us to pay attention to something. We can then decide whether or not that “something” is important and choose the best course of action in addressing it—or not.13

There’s no such thing as a “good” or “bad” emotion—there are only “good” and “bad” reactions to your emotions.

Anger can be a destructive emotion if you misdirect it and hurt others or yourself in the process. But it can be a good emotion if you use it to correct injustices and/or protect yourself or others.

Joy can be a wonderful emotion when shared with people you love when something good happens. But it can be a horrifying emotion if it’s derived from hurting others.

8. They show empathy toward others 

Empathy is another of Goleman's major elements of emotional intelligence.2 This involves the ability to understand the emotions of other people.

In order to interact with other people in multiple life domains, such as at work or at school, you need to be able to know what they are feeling. If a co-worker is upset or frustrated, knowing what they are feeling can give you a much better idea of how to respond.

When people are connected with their own emotions, they’re better able to relate to others. They can imagine how different situations might feel and provide support accordingly. 

Emotionally intelligent people can read others too. They observe social and emotional cues and see past simply what is said to what someone might be experiencing underneath. They care about how their actions affect other people, and they’re able to make predictions to avoid causing hurt. 
 

9. Utilize active listening skills.

https://happiness.stayfullfit.com/2022/08/how-to-improve-emotional-intelligence.html